Letter From Hell 2

Dear Charles,

It’s been a Hell of a month!

Not so much that Lucifer went back on his word and reduced my comp time maliciously, rather it’s the frenzy around Gaddafi’s impending arrival!

Everybody is frying to make it the event he deserves!  New fireworks have been designed by Lucifer’s expert special effect team.  But do not expect pretty pyrotechnics a la Sydney Harbour on New Year.  They are seriously intended to scorch that murderous megalomaniac.  I nearly lost my own life when I visited Libya on my ocean liner “Galeb” way back in the 1970’s.  Yes, the fireworks, the state reception, the renta-crowds, the lucullian banquets with mountains of delicacies, the speeches acknowledging my brainchild “League of the Non-Allied”.

It was all spoiled , unwittingly, by Gaddafi, always the sleaze,  when he

well-intendingly sent a trio of sex-bombson board.  Two were Russian and one Belarus.  The gift was never consummated as my wife Jovanka was watching me like a hawk, not to mention my barely tolerated favourite masseuses Biba and Duba!  Later I became privy to intelligence that the Soviet beauties would have emasculated me!  This was  at the time of Brezhnev, the President of the USSR, who never forgave me for separating from the Soviets and establishing my own, albeit smaller Yugoslav Empire!  Having escaped narrowly death, I decided in favour of caution and loyalty, well, at least to three women.

Besides, some bodily dysfunctions were sadly already in progress and not even hotly dedicated Marxist NKVD whores would have helped erect Little Tito.

But back to Hell!…

Preparations for creative thermic tortures are now accelerating as none other than Asama Bin Laden is joining the Terrorist Circle of Hell.  There are no denominational  distinctions here, exacerbating the pain of many unecumenical extremists. Imagine a Muslim burning together with a Jew!  And with women! On the other hand, scores of terrorist are looking forward to rub shoulders with Osama, but more about that later, as there is a queue of thousands (yet another torture) waiting to use the computer, so I must leave it for now.

Just one last thing…

I’m so proud of you Charles to be involved with the Beatification of Pope John Paul II, with His official portrait for all Christians to enjoy in their worship!  I am so grateful to Pope John Paul for having inspired the collapse of the most pestilential system ever devised by man, Soviet Communism, which, sorry to say, I helped construct.

I have noticed your unwillingness to answer my mail. I do not blame you.

I feel one day you’ll find it in your heart to send me a line, which to me would be a life-line.

Keep on praying and painting, I guess to you it’s all the same!

Josip Groz Tito


About charlesbillich

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1 Response to Letter From Hell 2

  1. Jay says:

    Like I said, very wicked. I love his advice…

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